If you sincerely want to make sense of pain and struggle, it is required that you be able to see opportunity in obstacles. This is not the same as adopting a simplistic "silver lining in every cloud" philosophy. Rather, it means truly facing every obstacle, feeling every stress, and then, with determination, choosing to look beyond the obstacle to the opportunity you would not have otherwise.
In spite of all the obstacles you face, right now at this very moment God wants to show the life and love of Jesus through you, too. Will you let Him ? Will you allow Him to turn your obstacles into opportunities?